I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
