so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
