U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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