i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
