She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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