his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
