we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
