some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
