Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
