You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
