The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
