Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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