Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
this boner is exhausting
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
