yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She's the barista slut.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Is Oprah even human
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
