Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
