i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
