Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There are leaves in my underwear?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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