worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think a kid would responsible me up
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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