Tell her she can't have a vagina
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
