I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
