gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What a dumb baby whore.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
