those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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