I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
