Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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