I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
