There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
