We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
