And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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