he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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