Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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