Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
