pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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