My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Someone came in the potted fern
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
