This girl is more easily done than said...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize