I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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