No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize