You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
