You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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