mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
