You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
