I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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