i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Someone came in the potted fern
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize
