The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she woke up with a sticky ear
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He has the fingertips of a God
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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