All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
