so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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