somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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