its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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