I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize