he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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