erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
