like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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