It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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