you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
