Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
