did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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