My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
